BuckFush of WALMARTIA

As policy of this worlds first totally politically correct Blog, we must appologize in advance for some of our contributors views.

A certain Lee John Billy Bob Boot, is a self proclaimed secret agent. He likes to be called Jack. An all time high ranking US civil servant, he is outraged that someone would refer to President Bush as a BuckFush. Jack Boot, last decorated for combat efficiency for exterminating 99 people at Waco, Texas by burning them alive, has high principles, he says. We always agree when dealing with Jack Boot, US Government secret agent. We try to suppress the worry that comes from talking with those that have been programmed at the NASA mind control center at Huntsville, Alabama. We never know. What if his programming is defective and he begins to see enemies all around, especially among those who might travel outside the US from time to time. We have been to Vancouver twice, Tijuana once, Yikes!! What if Jack Boot and G. Bush were classmates in mind control programming? Talk about bonding. Yikes again! Double scary!! Emma of Kazabazua, wants to ask him if he was close with GB and has he ever been traded for an ET. We told her to shut her mouth and quiet her nasty mind.

Since mercy comes to those who pray, we are relieved of contact with Jack Boot, but contacts continue. The tormented rummble of a 1949 Harley 61, right hand throttle, tank shift 3 speed, signals the approach of Cpl Duty First, USA PhD retired. He brings news about Walmartia.

The mental synapse that has guided commerce since Abram met Melchezadek and became Abraham (read The Twelfth and Final Religion... R Duane Willing) has resulted in global Great Merchants. They desire to control everything, especially governments, says the Cpl. Control is essential because great merchants live in the perpetual fear that the inventory might not sell and go stale on the store shelves. People might direct their interests away from the store. They could spend their money elsewhere or heaven forbid, they might keep their money for themselves.

The secret for the Great Merchant is to keep traffic coming to the store. This involves creating a mental state among the people known as cognitive dissonance, a state of never being satisfied. The objective is to inspire people to constantly try new things. However there is a problem, only a small pecentage of people are constantly trying new things. These people are called first time triers or early adopters. These are the Desired People of the Great Merchants, says the Cpl.

The worst cohort of people for the Great Merchants are those that are slow change their stuff by acquiring new stuff. The Magic of statistical research has been able to identify these retarded types of consumers. Further, marketing reasearch has been able to identify the prefered attributes that distinguish those that are the early adopters. In general, the premier social attribute of the early adopter is homosexuality. This group is followed by mixed race persons and couples followed by negoes, aisians and lastly ordinary straight white people having the least "progressive" consumer attitude.

Marketing research is not only the holy grail of the Great Merchants, but it is the tool used by politicians to "push Poll". This technique involves calling on a survey but loading the questions to alter opinion to get a desired outcome, reports our Cpl. It creates opinion, he says.

We demand. Why is the Cpl telling us this "secret" info? We have enough problems with Jack Boot. If we really want to understand why the Churches are being undermined and the media of TV and movies are constant reminders of deviant sex and homosexuality is being taught in schools, just look at the control needs of the Great Merchants, like Wal Mart for instance, he says. If everybody becomes an early adopter, and be like homosexuals, the inventory worries are over. We could all become a new breed of people. Maybe then we could be called Walmartians. Get it? He grins.